Cindy

Ever have one of those moments when everything and everyone starts to irritate you?  I’m guessing that I’m just getting tired because I’m not usually so uhh…what’s the word?… easily aggravated.   Oh well, enough of that.

Okay, I had a goal to get to a certain weight before we closed on our house.  I didn’t make it I’m ashamed to say.  I am 5 lbs away from it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining!  I’m happy that I am where I am and I know I’ll go further.  The point of this is to say, I know why I didn’t reach my goal, or at least some of the reason.  I can blame it on TOM or the stress of moving or whatever but those are excuses and I quit with the excuses long ago.  I’m all about honesty now.  Yes, TOM brought with it about 3 lbs but I quickly lost that.  Yes, it’s stressful to move as we all know.  BUT, the real reason I haven’t made it to goal is because I didn’t work hard enough for it.  I had a couple of days when I wasn’t OP but I was with food for the most part.  My problem was with working out.  There, I said it.

I made a commitment at the beginning of September to improve my workouts.  I was doing pretty well and then got sick.  I missed 3 days of workouts because of it and I allowed that to get me off track.  I don’t fault myself for not working out when I was sick.  I think people who do are just asking for a longer illness.  I do fault myself for letting it spill over to the next week (this week).

I had a friend/buddy tell me something that kind of hit me where it hurts.  I could blog about “tomorrow’s another day” or I can do something about it.  I’m no longer the type of person who uses the “fresh start” or “tomorrow’s another day” phrases.  I don’t like them because I think they are a cop out.  (If you use them, well, that’s your choice.  I don’t like them for me).  My point is, why wait till tomorrow?  Why are you sitting here blogging instead of working out?

One final paragraph.  I don’t want you finishing this blog with negative thoughts.  I am pleased with the amount of weight I’ve lost so far.  Heck, 39 lbs is nothing to sneeze at.  I’m happy with it!  Could it have been more by this point?  Yes.  Is that my fault?  Yes.  Am I going to beat myself up over it?  Already have.  I read a lot of posts where people say they’re not going to beat themselves up over it or comments of others telling them not to do that.  I’m not like that.  I’m a firm believer in tough love.  I NEED to beat myself up a bit so that I’ll stay on track!  So, yes, I’ve had a stern talk with myself about my slacking off and it’s working.  I know I can be better so I should expect better from myself.  I grew up in a family where not giving everything you best was simply not acceptable and I am still of that mentality.  Am I still in good spirits?  Absolutely!!  Because, I know that I messed up by slacking and I’m ready to fix it.  I also know that I can and WILL get to goal!  And soon!

The moral of the story:  If you aren’t progressing at the rate you hoped for, or if you’ve “slipped”, FIX IT!!   Admit your faults (to yourself or publicly) and do what it takes to get you where you want to be.  That’s what I’m off to do now.  Don’t put it off till tomorrow.  Start working on the solution now!

Lecture over.  I’m going to the Gazelle.

I know we’ve all been there.  Day after day of feeling “ho hum” as I like to call it.  I hate those episodes, especially when they last over a week.  So, I’m snapping out of it as of today!!

I’m recommitting myself to losing weight but not just for me anymore.  My husband and I went to a marriage enrichment conference last night and it opened my eyes to a couple of important facts.  Yes, I need to lose weight for myself, to improve my health and my self esteem.  But, I also need to be doing what I can to make myself attractive to my husband.  I used to be a die hard feminist (thanks in part to my two very stubborn grandmothers) but my views of certain things are changing.  I do believe that in order to do our part in keeping our marriage happy, we must make ourselves attractive to our husbands.  What am I getting at?  I need to lose weight and get fit for my hubby and  I love him enough to do that.  We’ve been through a great deal together over our 10 years of marriage.  He’s been my rock.  Of course we have our difficult times, but the good far outweigh the bad.  He deserves to have a wife who wants to look nice for him.

Okay, so, I’m going to 2 CARDIO sessions per day at least 4 days per week.  The longer session in the morning and a shorter in the evening.  There’s no reason why I can’t do this.  I’m a stay at home Mom of 2 little ones (3 y/o and nearly 2 y/o).  My oldest likes to exercise with me in the mornings.  The evening workout is the one I really struggle with.  By the time we get the kids to bed and spend a little time together, my husband is exhausted and heads to bed.  That leaves me with the house to myself.  BUT, this is also the only time I can get some of my “chores” done, like ironing and mopping.  It’s just impossible to do those during the day with the kids underfoot.  Still, I’m going to try for an evening workout at least 4 days per week.  We’ll see how it goes.  I may be back on here in a week saying, “forget it, it can’t be done!”  but I hope not.

I think I can.  I think I can.